Yesterday we had our first parenting lesson. The girls were not listening to us at the park so we made them come inside. (actually we carried them in as they screamed) they ran to their room and cried and I cried in the kitchen. We left them there for 10 minutes and then went it to talk to them. We explained best we could with the language barrier that they must listen to us. We then told them over and over how much we loved them and just want to be safe. We took them back to the park and boy were they good listeners. They even reminded each other to listen to us. It was a priceless lesson! We have had some tears each night as the girls tell me how much they miss their aunt and uncle (foster parents)....it breaks my heart.
Some things we have learned
- Our girls love butter and mayo! In fact the older one was dipping her mayo based salad into a side of mayo!
- They love horses and princesses
- They don't cry when they fall down
- They cry when they can't stay at the park all day
- They don't have ziplock bags or peanut butter here
- They sing the Scooby Doo song
- The won't eat without at knife and they cut all of their own food
- A lot of Polish children wear some sort of hat
- A lot of Polish girls love to wear colorful tights....including our girls.
- Our girls love beets, pickles, sardines, and mini hot dogs for breakfast
- We are 100% in love with our girls!
I am so happy for you! It sounds fantastic. I am trying to prepare myself for two older children who won't know English, and I know while it is sad to see their native language disappear, some parents admit a lot of relief when they can explain things to the kids.
ReplyDeleteFrom people I talk to, it seems like it takes about three months for kids from Africa to pick up enough English to have fewer tantrums/meltdowns.
The foster homes in Poland amaze me. I can't imagine having children live with me in a family situation like that and then giving up the children. Those parents have such big hearts.
I love reading about your experiences and what it is like being in Poland for a period of time. Very neat...
Yay! I am so happy for you! I am so excited that you have the girls with you for good now. I can't wait to hear more about your trip and adoption process.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great job you guys did with the park experience. It takes a lot of frustrating patience to stick to the rules you want them to follow. Great job! Look forward to hearing more about the trip, have fun!
ReplyDeleteI love all the stories, keep them coming! A few things that made me laugh: I'm sure Ramie loves the fact that they love bright colorful tights! And I already feel a bond with them myself given their love of mayo. lol :). And get those girls some peanut butter asap!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm so happy for you two and can't wait to talk to you in person (or on skype) and get to meet everyone!
Hooray! Enjoy the time and do really use it to form your family. The time we were in Poland together with nothing to concentrate on but us was so helpful. Good luck with the rules and screaming. We have found that consistency works so well.
ReplyDeleteSo great to hear the wonderful story of someone else creating their family.
Congratulations on getting your children! My wife and I have been following your blog for a while now. We recently decided to adopt from Poland as well. Our blog is at http://ouradoptiontale.blogspot.com/. I actually travel to Katowice for work sometimes (in fact I'll be there the last week of this month!) I'm staying at a new hotel (http://www.angelo-katowice.pl/). Let me know if you want any suggestions for food. My work has an office in Katowice, so I can always ask some people from there for suggestions. I ate at Tatiana last time I was there and they had fairly good food.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you are there for a while, there are some salt mines that are close by that are really fun to see (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wieliczka_Salt_Mine).
Hope you have a great trip!
-Chris
Thank you for posting, your girls sound so lovely!
ReplyDeleteYea! Sounds like things are off to a great start! Enjoy your time together getting to know your girls!!
ReplyDeleteIt all sounds SO familiar! We've been through pretty much everything you describe. The frustrating part was that it takes a while to forget "ciocia and wujek" who took care of them before you. You will hear that come back into conversations for at least a year and a half after you return. BUT...within the first few months you will notice a huge difference in how they recall them.
ReplyDeleteFirst it will be with affection and love.
Then it changes. It becomes just factual memories ("oh yeah, we ate that at Ciocia and Wujek" or "Ciocia used to do that.").
Then a year or more later you will begin to hear some criticism as they begin to compare you and they will most definitely reach the conclusion that their lives with you are far better!
The no-crying when falling and wanting to feel the motion of air on the face in the playground - never goes away. Today my daughter and my son did the wall-climbing. They have no fear. They just go. And if they fall, they go back up. The only times they cry is when angry. It was only a year after we got back that our oldest began to occassionally cry from being hurt (emotionally). The girl doesn't get hurt emotionally. She only cries to manipulate.
The lesson of listening - you may need to repeat that every time. Kids need a reminder. They do forget. But you'll see that with time it gets tremendously better.
Just keep on drilling the same line "I'm your mommy, he's your daddy. You must listen to us!" Show you mean it, just like you did, and you'll be fine.You're definitely on the right track. And when you think it's not going well, come over to my blog for some encouragement. The fact that I stopped blogging as often is simply because most of the issues are resolved and I no longer have much to complain or vent about.
Congrats on handling the meltdowns and behaviors issues really well! Its never easy to leave somewhere fun and my best advice now and down the road is to always try to follow through on any "if you don't stop, we'll have to...." (or threats for lack of a better word- lol). It'll serve you well and boundaries and expectations are clearly communicated- making kids feel even more secure. I've done the screaming child carry and while not fun, it definitely works out in the end. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll let you in on a funny that didn't happen-= I was all prepared to write how now you were no longer DINKs and could take the N out, until I realized that didn't look or sound very good.... lol lol
Congrats on everything!
Beets, Pickles, Sardines....Oh MY! I can't imagine the combined smell of that. HA! (the mini-hot dogs I am digging) As long as they like french fries too, they will make it in the USA!~ :) My eyes teared up when you wrote about saying goodbye to the foster family. I can only imagine how tough that was for you all. The caregiver is often forgotten in this journey and yet up till this point has had so much importance. I hope you will stay in touch or send pictures to this family. Their hearts are sad, but will mend. They have a calling for this special gift they are able to give.
ReplyDeleteIn the mean time, Take IT ALL IN - YOU ARE IN POLAND WITH YOUR TWO WONDERFUL GIRLS!!! WOW WOW WOW!
I just had a flashback to a day I sat in my own Ikea-filled Polish apartment sitting on the kitchen floor wiping away my own tears while our son was in the bathroom kicking and screaming with my husband patiently repeating over and over again "Listen," while pointing at his ear. Our son still points at his ear most times he says the word "listen."
ReplyDeleteHang in there. This is the hard part and the best part all wrapped into one. You guys make a great team and are doing a great job!
Love, love, LOVE your post! Thank you for sharing such precious memories! Oh and the apartment sounds beautiful!
ReplyDelete